An Open Letter to myself on Valentine’s Day

I’ve just had my dinner after settling baby and couldn’t possibly sleep with a full stomach. Laundry is still in the dryer, waiting to be sorted (Hogwarts’ magic hat should do the job). House is clean enough for a new day tomorrow. Baby and Husband are fast asleep. Love ballads are playing in the background (from YouTube).

I’m lazing on the sofa at 1am, thinking about how uptight, irritable and frustrated I’ve been in the recent months. I loathed myself for that.

With all due respect, the going gets tough with two boys in the house – one who is beginning to have a mind of his own, refusing naps but demanding to be fed once awaken. Another is as stubborn as a mule at times, and regards taking out the trash as major chore of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I do love both of them to bits.

But. I. Need. To. Love. Myself. M.O.R.E

I NEED to place myself back up within my list of priorities. ‘I’ slid down a rank when I started a relationship, another when I became a Mrs and lost myself completely after becoming a Mom.

Shopping (for myself) is too much of a luxury, more aptly described as quick errands – no longer a relaxing therapy as it was before. I don’t enjoy movies as much coz I watch them in parts (over 2 weeks). I either swallow my food whole or eat them cold. Miraculously, I’m still alive with less than 5 hours of sleep on most days. Chores are endless, whatever’s not done by tonight will be tomorrow’s. No time-off or annual leave to claim for a breather.

It’s time to take myself back.

On this Valentine’s Day, I vow to love myself more, doing things I enjoy, making decisions without justification, taking care of my body (and mind), and setting aside time to rejuvenate and recharge. And be happy again.

Loving myself is not vanity, it’s sanity – Katrina Mayer

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